how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I party with great urgency now.
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