About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize