I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
