saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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