pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
