I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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