Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
