dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
