I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
