just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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