i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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