Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
