He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
