Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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