When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
