Well douche your snatch and let's go!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
