Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize