I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
