Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
