She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
