so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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