yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
