apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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