You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
