do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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