I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
