apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
