New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
