why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
