"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My life is pants optional.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
