New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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