She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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