And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
