he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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