Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize