just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
