I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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