There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i out mim tonsoeep
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