I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize