Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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