My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
