the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
