if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
