Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize