I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize