I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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