she was so not down for the gang bang
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize