How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
