id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
smell my finger.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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