Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
