i think my mom watched the whole time
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
