Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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