There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
