we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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