i just had sex bonerless
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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