he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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